Happy Birthday in Summerland my love! I hope it is full of your favorite rib steaks, fries and German chocolate cake. I miss you so much baby.
Today is my Robyn’s 72nd birthday and his 4-one gone from me.
This period of time, 10 ½ weeks from his death to his birthday, is the hardest part of any year for me. And it is not getting any easier.
There are 7 days in that 10 ½ weeks that are pure pain for me.
Death day
Halloween
Anniversary
Thanksgiving
Yule
New Years
Birthday
With the exception of his death day, these were all days that Robyn enjoyed and looked forward to every year. And I now loath to the utmost.
Adding in the loss of our Lucy girl this past fall, and I’m just feeling totally broken now.
Outside of going to work, I’m just hiding in the house. I try to sleep, but it eludes me most days. I try to keep busy, and it just feels like too much effort. I try to eat better, and it becomes a losing battle with comfort food. Rob’s chair, a warm blanket, and the tv are my friends at the moment. Thankfully Gunny kitty is happy to let me cry on him.
The weather is not helping much. These first two weeks of January have been cold, snowy, and dark grey. Normally I’m a gal that loves winter. I enjoy being home, cozy, with a fire going watching the snow fall outside the window. This year, not so much.
If you feel so inclined, please raise a glass to my Robyn today. I know he would love it.
I know this will pass, and I’ll feel better again. I just have to get thru Valentine’s day next. Ugh.
Farm Notes:
Even with the crappy weather, the critters are all doing great. No frost bit ears, no signs of stress in any of them at all. Although Miss Bogas did find herself a bit frozen to the ground this morning. She got herself up, but did leave a bit of wool on the ice.
Brandy horse is fat and sassy. She is happy to eat all day long. On the few sunny bits we have had, I find her laying flat out on the ground soaking up that warmth. So far we have not had to put her into the barn, which is a good thing. She can be pretty destructive when she is loose in there, and at the moment, all my corral panels are being used for Douglas and his girlfriends.
When I went out for chores this morning, out of the calf hut that doubles as the wolf pack house came 3 dogs and one Mr. Tally sheep. He has been deciding to hole up with them at night. Smart bugger, he’s out of the wind, snow and has warm puppies to snuggle with.
Right now we have about 6” of snow, and it’s still falling for the next 24 hours. The drifts are good sized, up to 14” in areas since we had some pretty good wind over the weekend. We have had snow in some amount every day for the past 9 days now. The stock tanks are still good with the heater on so that is not a worry.
The local deer herd has been around the place for a few days now. They found the hay stack, and we have had to run them off a few times. The turkey flock has been around also. I think we are the primary source of water for them at the moment. I suspect the natural water holes are all frozen. Plus they do scrounge for any grain bits that Brandy has left behind.
It looks like we are going to get a break in the weather for a few days and then back down to the zero temps next week. Oh joy. I looked back on my FB memories this morning and last year on this date we had -50 with the wind chill. That was a rough week for sure. I’ll take 18 above instead of that.
Well, I need to get the fire kicked up and wash some dishes. I wish you all a wonderful week!
Blessed Be
Grief is painful and huge.
I am sorry that you have so much hurt in your heart. I wish you calm and peace to get through those days.
Animals are very funny. They seem to be able to handle things better than we do. Here's to continued good luck with the weather.