April Farm Update.

Greetings from the farm!

Welcome to the new subscribers, the sheep and I are glad you are along for the ride!

It appears that spring has finally arrived. The grass is getting green, the lilacs have new leaves coming out, and the tree by the stock tank has buds exploding daily. Our weather has decided to get warm and sunny, which I am happy about. I’m tired of being cold. They are predicting rain for us for the next several days, I will accept rain with gratitude!

Of course, since this is Wyoming, another snow storm is always possible and that could come back and kick us in the butt.

The sheep are all doing great after their yearly hair cut. They have adapted to their new body temperature and weight loss. They are loving the spring weather by having the zoomies and head butting contests. The flock goes on daily excursions over the pasture looking for the greenest, tastiest grass they can find and are shunning the hay bale. About noon they all come back for a big drink of water and nap time.

Miss Lucy is still having struggles with her arthritis. Like all of us with it, it progressively gets worse over time. Some days are better than others for her and the medication I give her does help keep her mobile. I cut back on her mash ration as she was starting to get a bit overweight. Less weight on her will help her move easier too. She’s quite good with the green grass and the hay flake she eats.

Michael and I spent several hours in the shop last weekend picking up tools, collecting the myriad packages of screws Rob has been collecting, and getting rid of the trash build up. We also re-arranged a few things so that I can get the big truck inside. Our spring and summer storms usually bring hail, and I would be heartbroken if Rob’s big truck got damaged with that. It’s been the habit to house it inside since we moved here. Now to get the barn cleaned up so that we can put the small truck inside for the same reason, along with the sheep if the weather gets really bad.

I pitched an idea to my boss this week about using some of the front counter shelf space to highlight local artists and craftspeople during the tourist season, which is already kicking off here. She liked it and is letting me re-arrange the shelves to house the displays. I’ll be finding other local’s to put their items in. Last year I heard several traveler’s commenting that they were looking for locally made things. I’ll be putting in my hand made items also, so hopefully it will generate some income for me. Keep your fingers crossed!! Yesterday was spent getting my inventory together, tagged, and ready for sale.

I’ve also been picking thru customer fleeces in an attempt to get them sent out. I need to get that done faster but there just never seems to be enough hours in the day for everything. If you are looking for a fleece, I do have several!! Shoot me a message!

A friend of mine made a comment to me in an email this week that has had me musing on what she said.

“It amazes me what strength we all have so deep inside that allows us to survive and thrive.”

I gotta admit I’m tired of being strong. Of the time I’ve spent on this earth, the vast majority of it has had me being the strong one. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family of abusers and alcoholics. Married a “man” who was a liar and cheater. Married a second “man” who was weak, mentally abusive, lied, cheated and ended up an alcoholic.

I figured I was doomed for life with a bad picker in my own head.

Then I met Rob and for the first time, I finally found someone who was strong. I had a partner, and when I couldn’t be strong, he did it for me. I had a shoulder to lay my head on, a protector. That was the only time in my life when I didn’t always have to be the strong one. When he wasn’t feeling strong, I gladly picked up that mantle for him.

And I miss it badly. I miss having that shoulder to lean on.

I know the adage of all those life experiences shape who you are today blaa blaa blaa.

I think about all the women in history who had to be strong because their circumstances demanded it. Women who fought silent wars to keep family together, fed, clothed, and housed during conflicts, depressions and dust bowl, unexpected death of a spouse. Women who were forced to be strong. To run farms, ranches and households with their children as their only helpers. Women who used their skills, and learned new ones to get by every day.

I know I’m in good company with those foremothers of ours. I’ve read many of their stories, and I admire how tough and strong they had to be. I suspect that like me, they cried many tears when nobody was watching. I do try to live up to that ancestry.

I still wish each and every day that I had my Rob’s shoulder. I know I’m tired. It’s a tired beyond sore muscles and bones from work. It’s a soul tired. The kind of tired that never leaves and weighs down my shoulders. It’s tired from always having to be strong.

And it will always be with me. After having an oh so brief few years of not having that soul tired, that always be strong mentality because there is no choice, I find the reality that is here now much harder to bear.

Blessed Be.

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