A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Door

In other words, don't do this at home.

We have our first “major” winter storm coming in this afternoon and lingering for the next few days. They are predicting 25+mph winds, heavy snow, freezing rain and fog. Snow predictions are anywhere from 4” to 2 feet, depending on the track of the storm.

My little town of Upton on the edge of the blizzard

Basically, it’s going to be a blizzard.

In my usual over planning, cover every possible problem that may arise INTJ brain, I’ve been working on what needs to be done before said storm gets here.

I got up this morning with a plan!

Went out and did the morning chores which consist of feeding the horses, checking the barn sheep, switching over the stock tank heater, feeding the rams, and giving the rest of the sheep and dogs a good looking over for problems. I brought more firewood up to the house and turned on the welder/generator to make sure it would fire and filled it with fresh gas. Glad I did that part, it was tough to get it started and its battery was low, so this gave it time to charge. So far so good, right?

I decided to leave the sheep in the corral while I went to run errands. I have a few naughty babies that don’t respect fence lines and I don’t need them near the road.

Took a shower and got ready to leave with my mental list of errands and what I needed to get. I had already had my coffee during my manic planning stage.

Bank, post office, feed store #1, feed store #2, grocery store, in that order.

Hmmm, they are testing the highway closed signs in town. Oh joy. If I get stuck in town tomorrow (off farm job) what the heck am I going to do. I ran into the chief of police, a friend of mine, who said if she got wind of the closure, she would let me know so I can get out of town before they closed the gates.

I was running low on both COB and dog food, and if I was to be housebound, I wanted to make sure I had enough for a week. Needed a few groceries to tide us over also, milk mainly.

Alright then, I’m back home!

Got the groceries unloaded, let the dogs out, got the 50lb house dog food bag and was carrying that back up to the door when……………

All hell breaks loose.

I caught my toe in the door mat.

Can ya see where this is going?

Yup, I crashed and burned, landing on my head in a most spectacular fashion, followed closely by my ass.

I also landed on the two fingers I broke 2 months ago, and sliced one up fairly nicely with my wedding ring.

And torqued my back.

As falls go, this is one of my best ones yet!!

Here’s the best part.

My head broke the door, much the way you see on those police shows, except they use their foot or a door breaching tool.

(Pardon my dirty door, the dogs jump on it with their dirty paws, and I haven’t washed it off lately)

It was quite comical to see just how little it was going to take to break into my house LMAO!!! Oh, and you should have seen the look on my dog’s faces. Priceless!!!

I managed to extricate myself from under the bag of dog food and got up. Got my finger cleaned and bandaged and took a good look at my head.

Yeah, that’s gunna leave a mark,

Well, crap.

I did text my son and asked him to come home to give me a hand. I honestly was not sure if I was going to pass out and I really didn’t want a stranger to find me laying in a frozen dog turd, or some other equally gross frozen pile of something.

While waiting, I got the dog food bag in the house, and used it to keep the door closed. Drove to the barn and unloaded the COB, drove out to the storage shed and got the outside dog food unloaded, and parked/plugged in the truck.

My son got there, and the look on his face was priceless. I think he was surprised that I was actually on my feet.

He dumped the feed bags into their correct bins, fed the outside dogs, let the sheep out, ran the naughties back in and got the newly fixed furnace fired up for me. My newly fixed furnace isn’t quite so fixed. Still can’t keep the pilot lit. So, I started a fire in the wood stove.

I gotta say I have a hell of a headache, and it’s going to be an amazing bruise when it hits its glory. I am very glad that I did not break my glasses, or I would really be up the proverbial shit creek. My other pair is two prescriptions outdated.

All in all, it pays to be a tough old bitch.

Blessed Be!