An Honor and Sacred Duty

This is not a post I wanted to write. It has taken me several days to think about how to write this, and process thru my own emotions. It’s been a tough few days

Throughout my life and the various careers I’ve been involved in, I’ve found that I have been called upon to be present at the passing of a life from this plane to the next.

I’ve held the hands and stroked the foreheads of hospice patients as they have crossed over.  I’ve spoken softly to them, letting them know that it is ok for them to cross now, that their job here is done, and that the pain will soon be over, and they will be rejoined with their loved ones who were waiting for them.

I’ve held the hands of trauma patients trapped in vehicles, listening to their final words as they have crossed over, then delivering their messages to the people they wanted them to go to.

I wanted to be present as my husband crossed over, but the medical industry saw fit to keep me away from him for no justifiable medical reason.  For that I will never forgive or forget.

I’ve also been present as new life has made its way into the world. 

My own two children, and at the birth of another woman’s child in the back of an ambulance.

I’ve watched calves being born, and as needed, interceded in the birth when mom is in trouble.  I’ve seen multiple lambs being born, and again, taken steps to help mom with the birth.  Giving safe space, with bedding, food, water, and on occasion, hands to help pull.

I have always considered it to be an honor and sacred duty to have done this.  To be both present at coming new life, and the crossing at end of life.

As a shepherdess, it is also my honor and duty to give my sheep, and any other livestock I have and have had, the best possible life while they are here. To give them the best food I can offer, clean water, and quick medical care.

Of all the animals currently here, only 10 were not born on the farm.  With very few exceptions, I have been present at the birth or passing of all of them.

I don’t take this sacred duty lightly.

Angus came to live with us in spring of 2019 from California.  He came to us as a new sire for my flock.  We had lost one of our rams, Denny

That is Angus the day he came to live with us. The other little guy is Capt Jack.

Angus was a young guy when he got here.  He was just over a year old, and he settled in well with the farm and flock.  He had a very easy-going manner about him.  He didn’t hit us and was quite happy to have his face and head scratched. 

For several years, he produced beautiful white babies, and his genetics did outstanding things for the improvement of wool in his children.  He dropped the micron counts on their fleeces.  One of the goals of the farm, to produce low micron fleeces. 

He was outstanding at his job and I hold great gratitude to him for all his work on my behalf.

He made the move from Colorado to Wyoming with ease and settled into his new life here with us and all his girlfriends.  He and Douglas ram kept up their end of their jobs and more beautiful babies came. 

As many of you have read, this past week, Angus faced a trauma after being stuck on his side, pinned down by cattle panels overnight.

After moving him to his own pen in the barn, he took a turn for the worse on Monday night.  He stopped eating, drinking, and developed really bad diarrhea.  Also, he had some blood-tinged urine.

I spent many hours on Tuesday getting Gatorade into him to keep him hydrated.  He was given kaopectate for the diarrhea, and I offered him his favorite treats in an effort to get him to eat.  I also spoke to my vet and got some advice from him regarding this.

He seemed to rally by the end of the day and getting hydrated was a huge help in that.  I saw him nibbling on some crackers, hay, and drinking water on his own.  I was cautiously optimistic at this point.

Michael and I made hourly checks on him day and night.

Wednesday, he seemed better, he was getting up and standing on his own and I didn’t have to lift him.  He was nibbling hay and drinking again.  I got a big pan of alfalfa leaf that falls off the bales, and is like candy to the sheep, for him to eat.  I was still giving him Gatorade via drench gun to keep his liquids up.  He had a really good pee and there was no more blood visible.  I dosed him with another round of kao, and the diarrhea was letting up.

Late Thursday evening, he went down again.  I kept him hydrated; in a vain hope it would help.  Vet could not offer me much more help at this time.  Hourly barn checks by Michael and I and giving him Gatorade was about all we could do at this point in time. 

Friday morning came with a worsening of his breathing and inability to stand at all. 

Angus left this world at 7:20 am with his big head resting on my leg, as I stroked his sweet face, telling him it was ok for him to go.  That his pain was at an end and thanking him for being part of our life here.  I told him how much I love him and that my Rob was waiting for him on the other side with all the other friends of his that had gone before him. That Rob would take care of him on the other side. I let him know he would be running in green grass and sleeping beneath cool shady trees, and that I would see him again when my time here is over. 

Angus’s passing was calm and peaceful. 

He will be very much missed on the farm. 

I’m still crying.

Blessed Be.