The Strange Mystery of the Zucchini Under the Men’s Bathroom Sink

Things that make you go hmmm

It was a beautiful spring day. The sun was shining, warm air gently blew thru the trees, all in all a day to be outside. Not a day to be at work in a local convenience store, as I was.

It was a fairly typical day at the store. Locals in to grab a soda and a candy bar. Travelers stopping to use the toilet and get a hot coffee. A bit of town gossip floating around. Nothing that, on this day, would have struck me as odd.

I’m working my way down my daily cleaning checklist, stocking shelves, and so on. I’m sure you get the picture.

I go in to clean the bathrooms for the night and find the men’s room toilet paper is empty. We keep the extra rolls under the sink for ease of replacement. I get under there and have to reach fairly far back to grab one.

Now, keep in mind my knees don’t bend in the usual way. I can’t squat or kneel. Fake knees can do that to you.

Anyhow. I’m reaching around by braille trying to locate a roll and make the decision to do the waist-bend-leg-kicked-out maneuver in order to see under there.

What do my wandering eyes do I encounter?

This….

Yes dear readers that is correct. A pair of zucchini’s sitting at the back looking all innocent and stuff.

Now, by all metrics they were quite well behaved zucchini’s. They did not smell, they were not leaking their juice all over the place, and it did not appear that they offered themselves up as a snack to the denizens of the night. Neither one put up a fight when they were discovered, which is good since my handcuffs were at home and not on my person.

One must wonder…just how did a well behaved pair of zucchini’s get into the store, let alone sequester themselves in the men’s bathroom?

Now if they snuck in the front door an alarm would go off so they would have to move very quickly to keep from being seen. It’s always possible they infiltrated thru the back door left open by an errant delivery driver. That would have been a much longer trip to their final resting place.

I thought levitation, but disregard that theory since they may have inadvertently hit a customer thus giving up their position.

That really leaves only one other alternate. They were placed there by a human co conspirator.

Hmmm…….

Were they placed there intentionally? Were they hastily placed so the human cohort would not be caught with them in their possession? Was the human planning on returning for them at a future date?

What was the human doing with a well behaved pair of zucchini to start with?

I’ve been told to lock my car doors during zucchini season as people will load their extras into it anonymously, or leave them on your doorstep, but this seems a bit extreme, and it’s not zucchini season to even start with!

Hmmmm…..

Let’s put some possibilities on the table.

Said human was using them to….um….enhance their presence?

If that was the case we now have two different layouts.

The end to end layout, where as the human would be seen as being the proverbial “hung like a horse”. While interesting, is not much of a reality.

That leaves the side by side layout. One would immediately think the human is inflicted with Elephant Man Syndrome.

Again, not much of a likely option to attract others to their cause.

Now, I’ve been around the block a few times, and I’ve worked in enough male dominated fields to have heard “guy talk”

Needless to say, when I relocated the zucchini I wore latex gloves.

Does that make it a double kink?

I did check with the local constabulary and was assured there were no statues on the books in regards to vegetable abuse.

I think the mystery will remain. The zucchini’s refused to talk despite being told they were going into solitary.

A word of warning. Keep an eye on your veggies, they may be prone to travel by themselves or with help.

Blessed Be